My life is turning upside down. I’m on the razor’s edge of exhilarated and scared to death. And I freakin’ love it. Why would I love to live on the razor’s edge? Because …
We are here to feel.
Ten years ago I stopped feeling in the name of security and comfort. Once I woke up from the numbness, I swore I’d never be okay with that again.
I made a promise to myself. Numb will not be my way of being even when it feels like the safest way to be.
I insist on feeling no matter what and will not settle for any situation that requires me to hold myself in or shut down.
Being conscious requires feeling. It requires connection to and awareness of self. When I’m numb, I’m lost.
Can you feel it?
What brings me that feeling of aliveness is transformation. Change.
And I’m in the midst of it now.
Six weeks ago, I moved from Los Angeles to Colorado.
In just a few days, my online home will be moved as well. The Intrepid Mompreneur blog will transform into a new blog … Life, Business & The Pursuit of Truth.
Here’s a picture of the IM blog in its current state as I write this so when you are reading this post a few weeks from now, you’ll have a point of comparison.
The nature of my relationship with Dave is changing.
My business is transforming.
Everything. Is. Changing.
Friday night at the mastermind Dave and I were leading, I had a session with Tim Kelley, one of my coaches. (If you get a chance to work with Tim, take it – his process is amazing.)
Afterward, I felt this tingling aliveness (and also quite a bit of fear) as I saw that within 6 months every single thing in my life could be 180 degrees different.
I want to talk about all of it here, publicly, for all of you to read and see.
But before I do, Dave reminds me to examine that desire. Is it from a place of truth or conditioning? What is the motivation behind it?
Do you share all your stuff publicly as it’s happening? Or do you wait until it’s complete? If you do, do you know what your motivation is? Does it matter?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
23 Comments
Alexis,
I am very excited to hear all of your news. And I look forward to seeing the new image of your transformational unfoldment.
Have you read Linchpin yet? If not, definitely put it on your list.
In a nutshell…you are a Linchpin, an artist who creates work that changes people/the world. You have a passion for spreading your art – giving it as a gift generously – while also being willing to be an artist who” thinks along the edges of the box, because that's where things get done” (Seth Godin- Linchpin). And lastly, you are an artist who is willing to ship. Because without shipping your art out into the world for others to see – it remains unseen – and thus transformation cannot occur.
I too am a linchpin – I have spent the last year acquiring skills, getting clear AND aligned with my top life priorities, unique abilities, naming the gifts I have to offer at the edge of the box, and working through the resistance to claiming my role, power, and responsibility as an indespensible artist. Quite a journey it has been and partly due to your example and courage,I am ready to start “shipping”! Stay tuned!
Hugs to you my friend! You insire others to be inspiring!
😉
Amy
I LOVE that you're sharing it all as it's happening – we can feel the urgency of it, the raw emotion of it more as you're in the moment and it literally zings through us with authenticity! (And authenticity is incredibly powerful – big time resonance energetically.)
I think motivation absolutely DOES matter. If I'm coming from a place of love and hope and connection, every action ultimately works out for the best. If I take action without recognizing that I'm operating from a place of something darker and murkier, I might not be happy in the long run that I took that action (might be more trouble than it's worth). But either way it's all REAL so if it's honest and personal then it probably all works out in the end, too. How's that for a both-sides-of-the-coin answer? ; )
Very excited for you and hope the transition and journey is joyful and thrilling… kind of like a rollercoaster! : ) Congrats on continuing to leap and to move forward with your dreams. You go girl!!!
Lex, you are one of those people who has such a way with words and living your life that in some ways it has become your duty to report your experiences on a moment to moment basis. You have created this. By living in the moment and writing about how you see it from the inside, you make it okay for everyone else on the outside to cheer you on whether they agree with your philosophy or not. The result is that you inspire your readers to take action, seek out solutions and not judge themselves. That's a pretty good motive in and of itself.
You aren't afraid to talk about what you are going through and how you feel because you want to SEE every aspect of the truth. Most people cannot live with such honesty and curiosity without stumbling upon some aspect of themselves that is too ugly for them to handle, which inevitably ends up leading them to shut down, feel ashamed or change directions. You let everyone know that whoever they are and whatever they are going through is OKAY and that no matter what happens, they are loved. You lead by example and you live authentically, which for you means being transparent.
I'm not sure that it matters what your motivation is to share your experience publicly. Is entrepreneurial privacy essential to success? You aren't revealing anything that jeopardizes your business or family. I do understand why Dave is asking this question of you and I agree that it is important to periodically take a step back and make sure that you are on track. I think what Dave is questioning is the level of transparency that you are choosing to expose. So, in this instance, the only time that I think it is really critical to question your motives for making your life public is if it affects your children or loved ones negatively (which as far as I can tell is not the case here).
If there is some aspect of your personal life that you may not have made public yet (and that is maybe why Dave is asking you what your motives are) maybe there is some fear on his end that he is hoping you will pick up on? Or maybe he just wants to make sure that you don't put information out into the universe that could cause people to judge.
Whatever the reason and whatever you choose to do, you are a very powerful mom entrepreneur and a great friend who has helped a tremendous amount of people through your message. Thank you for being so open and for setting an example of how to live your truth while being a loving and conscious person. Your blog is an open expression of you and I am really looking forward to seeing your new blog. I hope that you continue to share your journey with us so that we can continue to support and learn from you. You always inspire me! xoxo. B
I LOVE that you’re sharing it all as it’s happening – we can feel the urgency of it, the raw emotion of it more as you’re in the moment and it literally zings through us with authenticity! (And authenticity is incredibly powerful – big time resonance energetically.)
I think motivation absolutely DOES matter. If I’m coming from a place of love and hope and connection, every action ultimately works out for the best. If I take action without recognizing that I’m operating from a place of something darker and murkier, I might not be happy in the long run that I took that action (might be more trouble than it’s worth). But either way it’s all REAL so if it’s honest and personal then it probably all works out in the end, too. How’s that for a both-sides-of-the-coin answer? ; )
Very excited for you and hope the transition and journey is joyful and thrilling… kind of like a rollercoaster! : ) Congrats on continuing to leap and to move forward with your dreams. You go girl!!!
Alexis, I recently went within myself to question my own motifs for publicly speaking about my projects and what I discovered personally is that it does uplift others, yet it feeds my ego which is not where I desire to speak from.
It tempers the creative force within me to surface organically and prematurely expresses itself before I see the whole picture or story laid out before me.
I decided 3 days ago to complete my projects first, and then when they are completed I will share them openly and virtually with the world. I believe for myself this creates a inner love & trust with myself and develops my intuitive abilities so I can listen more clearly.
Thanks for sharing your words and insights, I believe each person gleans into another persons life to see the reflections.
-Blessings,
Skye
Alexis,
I am very excited to hear all of your news. And I look forward to seeing the new image of your transformational unfoldment.
Have you read Linchpin yet? If not, definitely put it on your list.
In a nutshell…you are a Linchpin, an artist who creates work that changes people/the world. You have a passion for spreading your art – giving it as a gift generously – while also being willing to be an artist who” thinks along the edges of the box, because that's where things get done” (Seth Godin- Linchpin). And lastly, you are an artist who is willing to ship. Because without shipping your art out into the world for others to see – it remains unseen – and thus transformation cannot occur.
I too am a linchpin – I have spent the last year acquiring skills, getting clear AND aligned with my top life priorities, unique abilities, naming the gifts I have to offer at the edge of the box, and working through the resistance to claiming my role, power, and responsibility as an indespensible artist. Quite a journey it has been and partly due to your example and courage,I am ready to start “shipping”! Stay tuned!
Hugs to you my friend! You insire others to be inspiring!
😉
Amy
First, congrats on the new blog! So exciting. I will miss seeing, Being afraid and doing it anyway. It was a nice reminder, that even with real success, taking risks is still pretty dang hard and it is ok to be afraid but you don't have let that stop you.
This totally made me think, what do I do. When I am actually writing of course, because I don't actually write as much as I think about writing. I might come up with 5-10 post ideas a day, and not blog but once a week if I am lucky. Kudos to you for sharing so openly, it is a scary thing to do. For me anyway.
My last couple posts were more the “stuff” as it was happening or as I was feeling. My only motivation was to be real. Frankly, they were harder to start (showing vulnerability) but easier to write (being open).
Many of my past posts were planned or kind of “a look what I just did”. Planned posts are very easy to start, but quickly I found myself struggling for the right words. I am sure it is because my motivation was an outside factor. As skye mentioned it felt like an ego was involved. But it's funny, Skye feels ego writing about the journey and I feel ego writing about the destination. .
Hmm….more thinking.
I LOVE that you're sharing it all as it's happening – we can feel the urgency of it, the raw emotion of it more as you're in the moment and it literally zings through us with authenticity! (And authenticity is incredibly powerful – big time resonance energetically.)
I think motivation absolutely DOES matter. If I'm coming from a place of love and hope and connection, every action ultimately works out for the best. If I take action without recognizing that I'm operating from a place of something darker and murkier, I might not be happy in the long run that I took that action (might be more trouble than it's worth). But either way it's all REAL so if it's honest and personal then it probably all works out in the end, too. How's that for a both-sides-of-the-coin answer? ; )
Very excited for you and hope the transition and journey is joyful and thrilling… kind of like a rollercoaster! : ) Congrats on continuing to leap and to move forward with your dreams. You go girl!!!
Lex, you are one of those people who has such a way with words and living your life that in some ways it has become your duty to report your experiences on a moment to moment basis. You have created this. By living in the moment and writing about how you see it from the inside, you make it okay for everyone else on the outside to cheer you on whether they agree with your philosophy or not. The result is that you inspire your readers to take action, seek out solutions and not judge themselves. That's a pretty good motive in and of itself.
You aren't afraid to talk about what you are going through and how you feel because you want to SEE every aspect of the truth. Most people cannot live with such honesty and curiosity without stumbling upon some aspect of themselves that is too ugly for them to handle, which inevitably ends up leading them to shut down, feel ashamed or change directions. You let everyone know that whoever they are and whatever they are going through is OKAY and that no matter what happens, they are loved. You lead by example and you live authentically, which for you means being transparent.
I'm not sure that it matters what your motivation is to share your experience publicly. Is entrepreneurial privacy essential to success? You aren't revealing anything that jeopardizes your business or family. I do understand why Dave is asking this question of you and I agree that it is important to periodically take a step back and make sure that you are on track. I think what Dave is questioning is the level of transparency that you are choosing to expose. So, in this instance, the only time that I think it is really critical to question your motives for making your life public is if it affects your children or loved ones negatively (which as far as I can tell is not the case here).
If there is some aspect of your personal life that you may not have made public yet (and that is maybe why Dave is asking you what your motives are) maybe there is some fear on his end that he is hoping you will pick up on? Or maybe he just wants to make sure that you don't put information out into the universe that could cause people to judge.
Whatever the reason and whatever you choose to do, you are a very powerful mom entrepreneur and a great friend who has helped a tremendous amount of people through your message. Thank you for being so open and for setting an example of how to live your truth while being a loving and conscious person. Your blog is an open expression of you and I am really looking forward to seeing your new blog. I hope that you continue to share your journey with us so that we can continue to support and learn from you. You always inspire me! xoxo. B
Nothing ever changes 180 degrees. Nothing ever stays the same. Until you die, that is. Sometimes, it's 175 degrees, and sometimes it's 12 degrees, and sometimes it's 90 degrees.
I'm not sure it matters how much you expose. The more truth you expose, the more truth you will learn – and soon the truth you expose won't be true any more.
And if you think about it, there was a hippie chick in Hawaii half a century ago, a pregnant blonde midwesterner who married the baby's father, a polygamist from Africa at a time when 37 of the 50 states prohibited interracial marriages. Who would have thought that these days, the biggest scandal about the baby's birth is that some people think it didn't happen in Hawaii?
Anything you put online can come back to haunt you – but anything you DON'T put online can come back to haunt you, too. You don't know what people will give a hoot about in the future. When in doubt, be true to yourself. Others will come or go, but you always will be there, and in the long run, integrity pays off.
Alexis, you rock!
I appreciate your honesty, your joy, your gifts, and your success, even as it reflects back to me where I can improve in my own life. I've witnessed your courage and your humility to openly share your journey, both business and personal, and I am proud to know you and call you friend.
In answer to your questions, I have almost instinctively been open with what is happening in my life, sometimes to the apparent detriment of how people view me. What I keep realizing is that whatever they thought of me was not true anyway, if they didn't know what was really happening for me. On my own blog, I've documented my lessons and aha's I've gained while couch-surfing and house-sitting, which certainly would not qualify as hidden or private!
My own search and self-examination journey has led to clarity of my calling and my work. Perhaps the biggest obstacle and challenge has been the simplest step, which is to let go of the idea I can work with everyone, and to allow the specific audience, my tribe ((as our friend Max would say) to become clear, so they and I can succeed and win together. This is my current growth spurt!
I've been sharing my developing focus, clarity and message along the way, and I realize I have received powerful and supportive feedback along the way. That would not have been the case if I had hidden away and kept it secret.
Thank you for being a way shower, a leader and a powerfully authentic woman.
PB&J
Barry.
Hey Alexis this is a great question. I think transparency in public depends on what your purpose in life is. If it is to help others overcome their fears and become the best they can be, then transparency is really important. It's scary though. But without fail, whenever I share a story of my struggles, or detail the rocky path to higher ground, the people in my community really react. It gives them permission to be honest with themselves and have confidence that you don't have to be perfect to achieve the success you are after.
So as long as you can also share a lesson people can apply personally from your transparent journey, you are acting in alignment with your purpose.
Good on you Alexis. You take people on the journey with you which very few people do.
Alexis, I recently went within myself to question my own motifs for publicly speaking about my projects and what I discovered personally is that it does uplift others, yet it feeds my ego which is not where I desire to speak from.
It tempers the creative force within me to surface organically and prematurely expresses itself before I see the whole picture or story laid out before me.
I decided 3 days ago to complete my projects first, and then when they are completed I will share them openly and virtually with the world. I believe for myself this creates a inner love & trust with myself and develops my intuitive abilities so I can listen more clearly.
Thanks for sharing your words and insights, I believe each person gleans into another persons life to see the reflections.
-Blessings,
Skye
First, congrats on the new blog! So exciting. I will miss seeing, Being afraid and doing it anyway. It was a nice reminder, that even with real success, taking risks is still pretty dang hard and it is ok to be afraid but you don't have let that stop you.
This totally made me think, what do I do. When I am actually writing of course, because I don't actually write as much as I think about writing. I might come up with 5-10 post ideas a day, and not blog but once a week if I am lucky. Kudos to you for sharing so openly, it is a scary thing to do. For me anyway.
My last couple posts were more the “stuff” as it was happening or as I was feeling. My only motivation was to be real. Frankly, they were harder to start (showing vulnerability) but easier to write (being open).
Many of my past posts were planned or kind of “a look what I just did”. Planned posts are very easy to start, but quickly I found myself struggling for the right words. I am sure it is because my motivation was an outside factor. As skye mentioned it felt like an ego was involved. But it's funny, Skye feels ego writing about the journey and I feel ego writing about the destination. .
Hmm….more thinking.
I definitely feel IT.. Keep pursuing IT..
Nothing ever changes 180 degrees. Nothing ever stays the same. Until you die, that is. Sometimes, it's 175 degrees, and sometimes it's 12 degrees, and sometimes it's 90 degrees.
I'm not sure it matters how much you expose. The more truth you expose, the more truth you will learn – and soon the truth you expose won't be true any more.
And if you think about it, there was a hippie chick in Hawaii half a century ago, a pregnant blonde midwesterner who married the baby's father, a polygamist from Africa at a time when 37 of the 50 states prohibited interracial marriages. Who would have thought that these days, the biggest scandal about the baby's birth is that some people think it didn't happen in Hawaii?
Anything you put online can come back to haunt you – but anything you DON'T put online can come back to haunt you, too. You don't know what people will give a hoot about in the future. When in doubt, be true to yourself. Others will come or go, but you always will be there, and in the long run, integrity pays off.
Alexis, you rock!
I appreciate your honesty, your joy, your gifts, and your success, even as it reflects back to me where I can improve in my own life. I've witnessed your courage and your humility to openly share your journey, both business and personal, and I am proud to know you and call you friend.
In answer to your questions, I have almost instinctively been open with what is happening in my life, sometimes to the apparent detriment of how people view me. What I keep realizing is that whatever they thought of me was not true anyway, if they didn't know what was really happening for me. On my own blog, I've documented my lessons and aha's I've gained while couch-surfing and house-sitting, which certainly would not qualify as hidden or private!
My own search and self-examination journey has led to clarity of my calling and my work. Perhaps the biggest obstacle and challenge has been the simplest step, which is to let go of the idea I can work with everyone, and to allow the specific audience, my tribe ((as our friend Max would say) to become clear, so they and I can succeed and win together. This is my current growth spurt!
I've been sharing my developing focus, clarity and message along the way, and I realize I have received powerful and supportive feedback along the way. That would not have been the case if I had hidden away and kept it secret.
Thank you for being a way shower, a leader and a powerfully authentic woman.
PB&J
Barry.
Hey Alexis this is a great question. I think transparency in public depends on what your purpose in life is. If it is to help others overcome their fears and become the best they can be, then transparency is really important. It's scary though. But without fail, whenever I share a story of my struggles, or detail the rocky path to higher ground, the people in my community really react. It gives them permission to be honest with themselves and have confidence that you don't have to be perfect to achieve the success you are after.
So as long as you can also share a lesson people can apply personally from your transparent journey, you are acting in alignment with your purpose.
Good on you Alexis. You take people on the journey with you which very few people do.
I definitely feel IT.. Keep pursuing IT..
I find that sharing feelings, thoughts in the present can be powerful, while plans, or perceptions of the future can be a bit more tricky. Anytime I've felt like I've had enough of a handle on the future to predict it (just look at the numbers, it'll be a great success!) it usually has been, ahem, a bit (way) off.
That being said, asking questions that provide clarity can be a wonderful thing, which is exactly what you're doing. I've never gotten the “I'm so great, look at what I'm doing” vibe from you, and I don't think that's why you share with people on your blog. People love to hear (read) that a successful coach is faced by challenges every day, and has to move through her own fears & doubts to move forward. Does it take away the romantic notion that someone's got it all figured out? Sure. But it's wonderful to know that we share similar challenges or fears, regardless of our place on the journey of life.
As a side note, there is something invigorating about experiencing something “publicly.” It forces you to be honest, since real friends will call you on your BS, and you may think or act differently in situations knowing that, because of your own choosing, “everyone's going to hear about it.”
All this, and I'm just frikkin' nosy, so I like to hear what's going on 🙂
BTW..find a gym/trainer yet?
I find that sharing feelings, thoughts in the present can be powerful, while plans, or perceptions of the future can be a bit more tricky. Anytime I've felt like I've had enough of a handle on the future to predict it (just look at the numbers, it'll be a great success!) it usually has been, ahem, a bit (way) off.
That being said, asking questions that provide clarity can be a wonderful thing, which is exactly what you're doing. I've never gotten the “I'm so great, look at what I'm doing” vibe from you, and I don't think that's why you share with people on your blog. People love to hear (read) that a successful coach is faced by challenges every day, and has to move through her own fears & doubts to move forward. Does it take away the romantic notion that someone's got it all figured out? Sure. But it's wonderful to know that we share similar challenges or fears, regardless of our place on the journey of life.
As a side note, there is something invigorating about experiencing something “publicly.” It forces you to be honest, since real friends will call you on your BS, and you may think or act differently in situations knowing that, because of your own choosing, “everyone's going to hear about it.”
All this, and I'm just frikkin' nosy, so I like to hear what's going on 🙂
BTW..find a gym/trainer yet?
By nature I am an “over-sharer”. I'm learning though, that I don't have to share everything as I am processing it. My first blog was about my life as a single mom with a young infant and I was free to be incredibly transparent…in fact, it was my willingness to lay bare all my highs and lows and brokeness that my first readers were drawn to. Now, I'm married and I am more aware of the importance of maintaining “a sacred inner circle.” More and more I am just sitting with things before I begin talking about them….Spoken words can be powerful declarations and I'm learning wisdom from the time I spend in reflection. What's beautiful about it is that by processing things privately before taking it online, I have more insight and value to bring to my readers when I do share…
I'm happy for you and your transitions and your new horizons. I look forward to hearing what you learn from all these “changes and happenings” when you are ready to share.
I feel it! It is always a good thing to feel into whether something is coming from the place of authentic self expression or ego/programing. Fundamentally what we do (form) is not as important as who we are Being (content). I say “feel into” because “think about” wont really get me the answer I'm looking for. Limiting ourselves to “thinking about” something leaves us one dimensional. It is not bringing our whole selves to the inquiry. I salute your commitment to bring your whole self to the conversation. Awareness, awareness, awareness…………