Day 3 and I feel better than I have in a LONG time.
It’s funny, yesterday after I found out that Amex canceled my merchant account and I did everything I could to help them see how stupid that was, only to realize they were not going to change their mind no matter what I said or did, I felt a deeper sense of peace and relaxation than I have in a long, long time.
Oddly, I even felt a bit euphoric.
That’s what facing reality will do for ya!
Suddenly, I knew in a “permeate my being kind of way” that it would all be okay. That it IS all okay, right now.
Perhaps, I am not meant to run companies. It certainly seems as if the Universe has been trying to send me that message for quite a while and since I’m the kind of gal who always loves a great challenge, I have fought it.
Fifteen months or so ago, I decided that I was not cut out to build my own real deal businesses and decided I would just be a consultant. Then, I picked up Tony Hsieh’s book about Zappos, Delivering Happiness, and got re-inspired to be a world-changing CEO.
So, I ramped up my operations, hired lots more team members, expanded my vision and filled my time with team meetings, campaigns, copywriting, new websites, launches, the whole thing …
Another year of my life lost to the pursuit and perpetuation of the 7-figure business.
Totally not worth it.
Not only do I not need a million dollar business to support what I really want, I do not want one either.
A million dollar a year business requires far more attention and energy than the marketers selling you on it promise. Getting there is far harder than they make it out to be and chances are that if you do get there, you will wonder why you worked so hard just to have to work so hard to support the monster you created.
Perhaps that’s just my experience and it’s different for others.
A million dollar business requires a constant eye on the numbers, sales & marketing systems, campaigns and launches and people to support it — generally, lots more people than you would think. Someone needs to manage those people. No matter how much I wish it to be true, I have not yet met the people who want to work for me (instead of having their own businesses) and who do not need management. I suck at management.
If these things are not true for you, if you love the systems, the numbers, the people management, and all the details, contact me — I have two whole lines of information products for two awesome markets that are complete, tested, loved, proven and just need someone like you to build the business around them. I’m not gonna do it anymore.
So, what am I going to do instead?
For now, I’m going to take care of my existing customers and clients, I’m going to work with people who contact me about my programs and products spontaneously and want the specific kind of support I can offer, I’m going to take care of myself, be with my kids, enjoy the natural highs that come with freedom (as opposed to the drug-induced/campaign-induced highs I have been chasing) and wait to see what else wants to emerge.
That’s new.
Today, on the Whole Truth Show, a gal showed up who I had met at Ali Brown’s Shine Event in November 2009. She identified herself as “Beth.” Beth seemed a bit fascinated, a bit judgmental, and more than a little curious about my shift since then.
She expressed concern about how much I was crying throughout today’s show (yes, I let my emotion show far more easily now than I ever have before and on the flip side others who know me said they have never seen me look so happy — thanks Jeremy!) and stated that my programs must not work because I am struggling so much now.
Struggling?!? In so many ways, I am doing better now than I ever have! And that’s why things are so fucked up in our world.
Yes, I’m making far less money than I have in a long time and I have stopped paying on the massive debt I acquired chasing the more, more, more, more, more.
I am also happier than I have been in years, re-connecting with my children, supporting our lifestyle working just a few hours a day with total flexibility, saying no to work that doesn’t inspire me, satisfying my creative desires, in a relationship that feels healthier than any relationship I have ever been in and I am feeling again instead of numbing out.
For the first time in my life, I am not experiencing the internal conflict that has plagued me since I was a teenager.
We should all struggle like this.
So, on to day 3 of the Course in Miracles practice. Are you following along with me?
Today’s practice: I do not understand anything I see. Much like the other two practices, I’m directed to look around at everything I see and become aware that I don’t understand any of it.
That resonates for me. It’s becoming pretty clear to me that I do not understand much of anything. My entire orientation is being shifted.
For most of my adult life, I was a hardcore left brain lawyer, almost entirely focused on making money and being the best at everything I came near.
Today, during a live energy session on the show with a gifted energy worker, I felt source energy running through my body (and so did many of the people watching the show from hundreds and thousands of miles away!)
My mind was going insane with judgment and yet my body could feel the truth of what I was experiencing.
Today, my right brain is coming through more than it ever has. I feel creative, light, and free. Transformation is happening. And while it’s clear I do not understand much of anything, I feel more sure than I ever have that my path is right. Through this process, I am finally being and becoming what I always knew I really was. Whatever that is. Ah, the paradox.
I’m so grateful for all of your comments on the blog, your posts to me on Facebook (I only friend people I have actually met in person, but apparently you can subscribe to my posts and post comments if we have not met, or you can join the show Facebook group or my public page) and the love through Twitter.
Please keep it coming. Your interaction is giving me the courage to keep letting it all out here for everyone to see. And please share stories of your own transformation, letting go, shifting, practice and anything else that lets me into your experience. Until tomorrow, Namaste.
16 Comments
Ali,
Most people have been handed a nice big bundle of societal pressures to strive for ‘success’ (whatever that means)…and as a consequence, we end up in a state of constant wanting and never having.
As you know and as you’re pointing out, we tend to mistaken ‘objects’ for ‘feelings’. We tend to believe that ‘once I get this’ or ‘once I accomplish that’ I’ll experience [insert underlying and true desire which is usually an experience…a feeling].
We create so many unnecessary steps to experience what we really want and that we can have in this very moment: peace.
And that of course is where effortless prosperity and true wealth begins…
It begins once we make the conscious decision that our INNER PEACE is the most important thing. From there, everything else flows and we become a radiant beneficial presence on this earth.
Many blessings on your journey…supporting your process and transformation.
Much love,
*Joshua
I love your truth.I have never met you in person but I am a FB friend LOL it’s met to be. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!
Thanks Alexis. As I’m not a 7-figure business owner myself (6 figures does me just fine for now) I often wonder about the million dollar dream and what that means for people. Thanks for being so real, even if it pisses people off who don’t get it!
My dear Ali, yesterday’s show was GREAT. What happens there gives me the strenght to pursue my own transformation, so THANKKK YOUUUUU. Course of miracles (for me, today Day Three, I started one day after you): I am loving it. It’s challenging, I don’t feel comfortable with it yet, which shows me how attached I am to the meanings I have CREATED about everything. Concerning my work, I am just getting used to saying “NO” without feeling guilty. I am having TIME, time to be with my children, to have lunch with my husband (without feeling I am “loosing” precious time for my work!), and I am also having time to CREATE new businesses. I think there is a way to make plenty of money without loosing all this freedom, but maybe I am wrong? Don’t know… but I’ll work on it… I’ll let you know…anyway, I think that the final goal is not to make millions but to undertake projects that passionate us, that inspire us, …. well we’ll see!!!!!!!!!! Have a wonderful day, with all my love, Nathalie
I have been reading the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne which is a powerful paradigm shift in itself. In it he describes the phenomenon that our children are experiencing being raised in our current culture if excess everything. What he describes is Soul Fever. And what I have realized recently is that I too have been suffering from a similar soul fever that is yearning for slower pace, less stuff, more freedom feom commitments to just explore me the beauty of my family and this new world that us being birthed. So this has sparked a conscious process of releasing much of what I thought I was striving for the past two decades. As liberating as it feels to walk these fuzzy steps it is accompanied by the resistance beliefs that fears surrender and letting go… And yet I continue the uncomfortable process of letting go… Another book that has been calling to me is The Not So Big Life by Susan Susanka. I’m feelin’ ya girl! Much love- Amy 😉
Sending oodles and love and hugs to you Alexis. Keep it up, okay? 🙂
I had always wondered how those 7-figure business people managed it all and stayed well-balanced and sane. I am so focused on doing work that i love, impacting people with the calling of my life purpose, staying present with myself, my children, our planet and everything on it. Your heart-deep sharing is SO very moving, Alexis. You are exhibiting such courage to make the life-shifting decisions that you have.
I have been moving towards my purpose in the last few years, not yet living it, and refusing to go back to a life of working for someone else. It has been the scariest 3 years of my life, many moments of oh-my-god-how-will-I-feed-my-kids-this-week fear. It has just been recently, in the past 2 months, that I’ve gotten help in shifting my beliefs about myself and my abilities AND my life-purpose-fueled dream work, that things are beginning to fall into place for me. I too wonder if revealing all would make people not want to hire me, or not trust that I can hold the space for them to grow with my support.
Ali, the problem is that it’s not about 7 figures or not. It’s about the HOW. I know a lot of entrepreneurs (myself included) that have fun lives and don’t sacrifice everything to have it. It’s a convenient position to take that having a 7 figure business is bad when you don’t have one. Pursuit of it for the purpose of the money is bad, which I agree with. But suggesting that even the goal of building one is bad and that it’s inevitably going to be a monster perhaps explains why you weren’t able to create and maintain it. If you focus on creating value (and actually know HOW to create real value for others, which is the piece most entrepreneurs never learn), the 7 figure business is an effect, not a cause of success.
Greg, I’m not taking a position, just sharing my own personal experience. Each time I got to 7-figures, I found myself feeling more compromised than free. There were so many things I felt I had to do to maintain that 7-figures that I really didn’t want to do, but felt that I had to (rightly or wrongly). Sadly, the impact of that was most felt probably by my children and other personal relationships. Fortunately, I do not believe I impacted my health significantly, but I could feel that wake up call coming right around the corner if I didn’t slow it down and start to really get in touch with how I really wanted to be in the world.
I don’t think that a 7-figure business will inevitably be a monster nor do I think it’s bad (if you have a business model that requires 7-figure revenue to support it and you are happy with the model because it truly serves, great), but I do think that if people go into business with the goal/intention of a 7-figure business when that is not in alignment or congruent with the life they really want (because they have been sold on the idea of a 7-figure business as the definition of “success”), it will be a long, painful lesson in questing after a false idol. In my experience, building and running a 7-figure business is a massive emotional and time investment. Most people I talk to who claim to want one have no idea what that actually means and will either 1) never get there because they aren’t really willing to do what’s necessary or 2) will get there and will be miserable because it’s nothing like what they thought it would be. In the latter case, many will put on a happy face and pretend to be satisfied with their success (as I did for many years, lying mostly to myself) when underneath it all they will very likely feel trapped by it.
Regarding the focus on creating value, that is certainly something I know a lot about — in this internet/info marketing world of refunds/unhappy customers, etc., I have a number of clients who have been with me since April of 2007 when I first opened my lawyer training program. They stay because of the tremendous value I provide to their practices on an ongoing basis.
And it’s because of those lawyers who stick with me despite the insanity of my evolutionary process that I am able to support my family while I go within and focus on my personal dev and spiritual practice.
But creating value is simply not enough — at least not with the business model of most of us in the info-industry — we have to continuously market to bring in new leads and sell to convert those leads into clients/customers. As soon as I took a step back from doing that (because I was tired and needed a break from the constant campaigns and launches), I found I could not maintain the income, which also meant I could not maintain the team.
If you can see something I am missing, please share it — I want to know!
In the meantime, I am going to see if I can discover another way and you can be sure that I will share it when/if I do. I can’t say I will never make more than a million bucks again. But, it will definitely not be something I pursue.
I’m also not sure that the 7-figure business is an effect of success — if you’ve got a business model that organically/naturally throws off 7-figures, I suppose it is. But someone can be extremely successful with their chosen business model and bring in a whole lot less than 7-figures and unfortunately that seems to be lost on most people. I feel sad when people come to me seeking coaching around building a 7-figure business and I see how that quest is compromising their vision, their lives, their heart, their souls. It’s simply not worth it.
Finally, if the monetary system does what I think both you and I think it will do, none of this will be relevant anyway and we better figure out how to trade a whole lot of value because that is the only thing that will be worth anything.
Thanks for chiming in here, I appreciate your perspective and really do want to hear from you about where you think I might be overlooking something important. I’m here to learn, grow and evolve.
Love to you, Ali.
I’ve been giving this quite a lot of thought over the night Greg and here’s the most interesting thing of all — my businesses may actually bring in a million bucks this year even given everything that is happening. Last year when I got my final numbers I was shocked to see we made it over the million dollar mark in revenue in the two different businesses combined. What’s different now though is that I don’t care if we do or don’t. I’m not pursuing it. It’s not my goal. If it happens, it does. But, I’m definitely not compromising myself to make it happen.
Joshua – I love your post. I grew up with the traditional definition of success and never questioned it, but I do question it now. I define success for myself as having time with my family and friends, enjoying my work, and having enough money to keep everyone fed/clothed/housed with some extra for a few luxuries (I like my electronic gadgets 🙂 ). I’m working on my internal growth and spiritual growth. It brings me a true sense of peace as I never had when I was younger.
Maybe it’s being in my 40s. I see many people go through a similar cycle and start to let go of the nonsense as they get a little older. I’m done competing. I’m done striving. I just want to be.Time + people are them most important. Things are the least. I’m very happy to live a small life and not have the burdens of a large one.
Dearest Ali,
There are may factors at play – My sense is that you’re in the process of de-constructing the “how’s” and “why’s/motivation” of what you’ve created, so far, that are not in alignment with who you are at a core level, and also those motivations (for how/why about building a business(es) that were motivated by fear, or the needing to intensely control the process. (say by micromanaging and becoming “lizard woman” ; ) You’ve recognized these truths of things that are not in alignment with who you are at a personal level/a soul level.
Also, you, like many of us, are seeing what is happening on a national/global/environmental level – the “bigger picture” and realizing that what we’re doing as a species/our approach is not sustainable.
Coming to both these conclusions = somethin’s gotta change – and you’re making it.
Both of us have an an uncommon knack of seeing truth wherever it exists, however it appears,
regardless of not knowing how those “truths” may fit together in the bigger picture…
It is only by 1) seeing the truth (wherever it exists) and 2) taking action on it, despite fear – by walking down our own path of self-discovery, that the larger “Truth” will unfold – and make sense of all the pieces that we’ve been perceiving up until then…
… Walking this path, even though many may call us crazy, (quite literally, in my experience) irresponsible (yep, I definitely have gotten that) or just plain weird, is the key to stepping into our Truth.
By doing so, we allow others to have courage to walk their own path, while (paradoxically) we are better able to utilize all the Truth/skills (like knowing how to create Value, as Greg so aptly mentioned) we’ve gained thus far, in their proper context, at the appropriate time, if they’re needed.
And you’re doing it! – We’re doing it. Many of us are doing this, together walking our individual paths – embracing our personal – and collective truth.
Shining our light, in support of all beings on the Planet.
…Thanks for the mention ; )
Ajo, Ali Shanti ; )
Alexis,
I have been following your journey and find it truly fascinating. I see myself in you in so many ways. I work in the insurance industry, and am also very artistic and spiritual. I have tried my hand at info marketing and coaching, but had to throw in the towel. At times I feel as though I am in a tug of war-left brain, right brain. Where will she wind up? Nobody knows. Then I just ease into the now and realize that all is well. As I said, I tried starting a coaching practice, but had to stop bc even that was somewhat in conflict with who I am. I’m sober. In AA and we all give and take support and help thru the 12 steps. So sharing spiritual guidance at what seems to be quite a high price tag at times also felt incredibly inauthentic. I have many friends who are energy workers, reiki practitioners etc and I feel okay with their rates. I love to pay for self care, But the whole Internet marketing boom seemed to really drive prices way up, for what value? I don’t know. Other than spending all that $$ and leveraging that energy to then create something thru the tension from the high priced purchase. I don’t know how u do it. Even to put out there your “stuff” now. I had a blog, a very personal one, and even that upkeep became extremely daunting. Energetically. I just want to be happy. Maybe I can be happy just working a regular job w/ my hubby 20-30 hours a week. And let go my dreams of what all these marketers are pushing. It’s almost pyramiddy. But don’t let me go down that rabbit hole.
Peace my friend.
Alexis,
I just have to say I love your honesty and what you are sharing. I’ve been on a similar path and am actually writing a book about how I got lost in all the craziness of trying to be more successful and make more and more money, and examining why it happened to me and so many other people. I’ve interviewed many people for the book and would love to interview you if you’re interested as I think your perspective would be a great addition to the book.
FYI, I was checking out your blog after speaking with Laura Garnett yesterday- she mentioned your name as we were talking about some of this stuff. Anyway, if you’re up for talking, let me know. Feel free to contact me via my website at http://www.followinginspiration.com/
And if not, that’s cool, too. Either way, please keep sharing. The world needs to hear this side of the story.
Debbie
Last week I searched relentlessly and to no avail in the new city I live in for an ACIM group. I felt the call to the text again, having tried many times before only to give up/get bored/{insert any other convenient excuse here} up after a week or two.
I felt so strongly this time that I decided to grab the text when I visit home this weekend and work with it anyway, only to find you here through the GBS.
Oh, finally, the ACIM connection I am looking for! (Proof for my sometimes-lacking-faith-lately that everything I need comes to me.)
I’ve already read the first week’s lessons so many times that I feel I can “catch up” with you when I get the book back this weekend. Keep going, Alexis, I am inspired by how you interpret this stuff because it is *so much* like how I have thought (how the hell can this be working?!??! ). My logical mind is tenacious and loves a good stint of resistance on which to sharpen her fangs.
I have always been more, but honest to goodness, I’ve been stuck in this most recent phase of “smarter than everyone” for a couple years now and it’s sucked the soul right out of my life. I am working on getting it all back in order again. I look forward to moving forward in ACIM (and soul-full life!) with you. 🙂
namaste